Paper Dolls for Boys

Raising 2 crafty boys and thrifting every chance I get.

Town Take 4 May 1, 2008

Filed under: Town Week Photos — twlowenstein @ 10:35 pm

I always appreciate folks who extend the edge of the photo and blog about the less than perfect parts of life. I fancied myself that kind of blogger before I blogged but it’s a little harder than I thought (sweet bloggness I’ll try not to drop the word blog again in this post).

I don’t really want you to see my kitchen with it’s avocado stove and dirtier than dirt floor. I don’t really want you to know that a part of me feels more at ease because if the little one rolls off our bed he’ll land on a pillowy pile of clothes – some dirty, some clean. I don’t really want you to see my basement which is selfishly taking up all the storage space and thumbing it’s nose at our lovely downstairs neighbors and while I am thrilled with all these new connections with amazing folks, I don’t really want you to see me.

So maybe that’s a theme for another week, Stuff’s Underbelly (I’m a little over themes this week but maybe one day…)

Lately I’m not sure if my compulsion to document our daily experiences makes me more connected to what I’m doing or less. I’m enjoying learning more about photography but I feel like I’m also learning a little bit about me. How the images I pick paint a partial picture of who I am or maybe who I want to be. Funny, all these photos of a “beautiful” town are making me feel a little fraudulent. So today, do I post photos of the colorful graffiti, the rusted fridge I saw on the path around the park, the balloon floating up and away from little fingers and big tears, the kick to the back of a revered big brother from a little brother struggling to find his voice or the snapshot of me being less than supportive when my big guy couldn’t find the courage to join in his first soccer practice?

As my husband reminds me, what you choose to share doesn’t have to be your dirty underwear to be real. Hmm, private truth verses public truth. I’m kind of a blurter.

I think it’s becoming jarring to post photos of things so finished and pretty when I feel like I’m trying to find my footing as a mom of two, as the quasi-spiritual leader of the household, as the co-creator of a ‘nest’ for the family to feel nurtured and safe in, and the overall holder downer of the fort.

Here’s my image today from my walk around the park. My challenge/goal- to appreciate the busted and the beautiful, the seen and the unspoken, to value the process over product.

Usually I read and worry and edit what I write but I think I’m going to let this one sit. I’m going to go watch Lost.


7 Responses to “Town Take 4”

  1. molly Says:

    i love that picture, though i’d really love to see your avocado stove. i was just admiring the avocado stove in my in-law’s travel trailer – such a beautiful shade of green. i’m off to clear the clothes from my bed so i can sleep.

  2. Paige Says:

    I can totally relate; one blog post is such a small space for all that really goes on within a day. Do you write about the good, the bad, or the ugly?? For me, I’m go towards the good and the funny, because life itself is tough enough, you know? I need to keep my eyes focused on the happy, shiny stuff…and I think this is challenging in and of itself. Anyhoo, thanks for coming up with Town Week, and I love yur blog!

  3. Visty Says:

    Remember the song Kodachrome by Paul Simon? “Makes you think all the world’s a sunny day…” I use my blogging time to reflect on the things I want to remember or share, and my dirty house and the yelling aren’t either of those things. Strangely enough, I’ve been blogging for almost a year now, and it’s been one of the hardest, most challenging, worst years of my adult life. I wonder if my posts are a front, or if it’s my attempt to see clearly through the fog.

  4. right on tracey. love that busted ball.

  5. melissa s. Says:

    I agree – it’s hard to be all sunshiney blog writer when I’m having a tough day, but then I feel like I’m being a blog whiner if I write anything negative on my blog. It’s all about blog balance I guess. (there, I think I beat your use-of-the-word-blog record!!)

  6. megin Says:

    I like seeing all of the sides. From you and from others. When it’s too beautiful, I feel completely powerless and inadequate in the face of my own life. Do other folks never struggle with their children? Do they never encounter mess in their houses? Is every outdoor view breathtaking? I can’t imagine the answer is yes, but when that’s all I see, instead of being doubtful, I somehow revert to my place of inadequacy. So thanks for your honesty and sharing your humanity.

  7. Anne Says:

    I really love this photo; it reminds me of summer.

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