I haven’t hidden the fact I had surgery in my real life.  If I could’ve kept being fat a secret, I would’ve kept the surgery secret, I suppose, but that’s one of the many things that suck about being fat – it’s all out there for folks to see.  It’s the first thing they see and sometimes, the only.  So I am out of habit of blogging but learning to break the habit of trying to hide.  I am ruminating on this here blog, this here journey and what I might like to say on the former about the latter.  So in the meantime, here is me.

I might should have written “Before” & “During” because it’s a process.  A lifelong process.

On the left you have one of the FEW fat photos of me.  At my heaviest I reached 302.  On the right you have a photo taken by a college friend who I went to see for the weekend in NYC.  Something I would never have, could never have done a year ago.

My little squirrel stomach is nervous as I prepare to “publish” this.  That photo on the left, a photo of me, is something I lived in fear of ever finding its way online.  But here I sit, dreaming of grapefruit and ruminating.   More choices, more life, more love and, maybe, more blogging to follow.

A)  We spent much time in the great outdoors.  Just soaking up the sun & being at one with the world.  Or B)  We went to the science museum every chance we could and took funny photos to amuse ourselves.

Answer is probably more like C)  We did a little of both with a healthy dose of tv & wii thrown in.

Are you getting the hang of the quiz?  Here’s another for you:

A)  We created a backyard garden and harvested our own vegetables.  The remainder of which I have pickled and stored in our expertly vintage decorated canning closet in the basement.  Or B)  We went to my parents’ farm in NC and the kids rode the zip line my dad set up and we posed for funny photos on the tractor.

And C) We did hit the local farmers market with regularity.  This is the summer I could not get enough zucchini.   I did pickle a batch via this recipe, but we ate them all up during our annual end of summer cookout.  We actually do have a canning closet in the basement but it is kind of scary and full of our Halloween stuff.

A) We wrestled a shark off the coast of NC to tag it for some altruistic science purpose!  Or  B) We dug around in a huge mound for shark’s teeth to add to our collection (a summer pilgrimage).

And C) We posed for goofy photos in the Fossil Museum.

A) We summered in the Hamptons.  Or B) We took an amazing day trip out to the Boston Harbor islands!  If you haven’t done it, you should.

We explored the the Fort on George’s Island.

And collected sea glass and pottery shards on Spectacle Island.

Last quiz question, I know you want a gold star:

We A) Left all collected glass on the beach as directed by the many signs saying to do so or B) stuffed as much as we could into our pockets like the treasure hunters we are.

C) I am not answering that for fear of incriminating myself.

Thank you from youngest son’s 5th birthday, carnival themed.  Will post photos soon…

I took a 4 mile walk this morning with a friend. It’s been ages.  Felt so good to walk.  To talk.  I used to walk a lot.  Like the kind of walking you do when you don’t have a car.  It was during the grad school years and I walked all over Cambridge and Boston.  It was meditative.  It’s hard to rush when you are walking.  Walking was dropped from my life for a good long spell but thankfully she is making a comeback.  So many things to see and shoot (with a camera).  I am finding new ways to feed my body and soul.  Photography and walking are a good place to start.  Manna.

Got the antlers at an estate sale and hung them on my shelves.

Ring on antler from the antique mall where our booth used to be (was not as fun as I imagined it to be).

Thrifted wooden shoes with gourds grown by my father and tagged by my brother for my boys,

Thrifted metal tea set stacked on top of a thrifted Mason jar filled with glitter, water and a found pink doll shoe.

A shot from our recent trip to the museum.

Ack, the hats, the suits, the clothes, the hair.  It’s so very Mad Men (which I ate in one big gulp – thank you itunes.)

Statue of Liberty sun bleached and beautiful.

One of my favorites is what I assume to be a shot taken while up on the statue.

This must have been quite a culture shock coming from North Carolina.

I think this is a truck zooming by.  Anyone know what it reads?

That’s the Empire State building, right?

The older I get the more I realize that people have, inside of themselves, a vision of who they are that I am not always privy to.  A collection of events which define them but that I have no access to.  Something I’m chewing on.

I wish I could have known this Nancy and feel honored I am the keeper of her photographs.  In a small way I am learning more about her through these shots.  Thanks Aunt Nancy.

So it is…

Noticed an unintentional thread of yellow in my recent Flickr posts.

It is not a color ever answered when someone asks me my favorite color.

Which happens more than you’d think since I teach Kindergarten.

Here is a little vintage goodness I present to you as a gift of reconciliation.

Isn’t that a winning cover?  The font alone makes me happy but then you layer in the ticking and the little shinny apple and I am pleased as punch.

There is nothing wrong with the back of this book.  It is perfection and I am thinking on an occasion to use this for an invitation.

Sage advice.

A happy thing indeed.

I got nothing but I plan to scan them all so I didn’t want to skip C.  I will say 3 is my favorite number. Fate that I found this book at a rummage sale?  You decide…

Doll a little creepy but the text more than makes up for it.  “No one has ever seen a doll grow up.”  The author has a good sense of a child’s brain.

I will add E-Z another time.  I actually have some time on my hands, shoving away from the computer to better spend it.

I have missed you.